I've found myself in a bit of a quandry. This tour I paid for has turned out to be a bit of a flop, so I'm thinking of cutting my losses and continuing on my own.
Yesterday lunchtime I hit a bit of a low. I went to the Karnak temples with my tour group and I was exhausted before I got there, found the crumbling statues less than breathtaking and got back to my hotel wondering what I should do. The Americans that I met happened to be in Luxor too, and thanks to facebook I was able to meet up with them again. It's odd. It's not like we get on like Egypt and the sun. But my sense of adventure and that exciting hopeful satisfying feeling rises to a really nice level when I'm with them.
I ended up going against my bedouin bent though and reluctantly decided to see the valley of the kings with my tour. If I want to pass Egypt 101, I have to at least do the pyramids and the valley of the kings apparently.
However, with the prospect of leaving the rigidness of tour life and making the transit from tourist to traveller, my spirits were buoyed and I ended up having a really nice time. We rode a stinky donkey past mud brick houses on a sugar cane farm and the tombs in the valley were pretty cool. I would say it was my favourite "attraction" so far.
On this tour, we don't have to think about anything really. We stay in moderate hotels and I get my own room, shower and a decent bed. The Americans are staying in cramped rooms without personal space in the noisiest section of town. But there's a far stronger sense of homeliness and belonging there. People come expecting to meet new people, not knowing what the next day may bring. I would trade the comfort of a hot shower, and a good sleep for a dirty night of no sleep, filled with shared experiences and new friends any day. And so that's why I think my spirit feels light. I feel hopeful that my soon coming exodus will lead me out of comfort and ease, and quite frankly boredom – to excitement, danger, new experiences and friendships. I can feel the troubadour awakening from the tomb inside my soul.
I feel people get so precious about the ancient wonders that they forget to recognize what is actually bringing them new life. It's not just in traveling, it's everywhere.
Like wanting to have a picture with someone famous, just because they are famous. Or reading a bestselling book and saying it was amazing because 3 million others have said so, but really nothing has penetrated the heart. Or claiming to believe and WORSHIP God or a god but unable to see that 'He' is not bringing (and perhaps even hindering) life. I don't exclude myself from these people, in fact I see it in others because I recognize it in myself.
I don't have anything against tourist attractions and wonders. What I am against is people denying reality, Egyptians and tourists alike. I don't know which is more saddening: the poverty in Egypt's streets or the poverty of the souls in them. I tend to drift toward the latter.
It's hard to honest though. I've found it difficult to spend lots of money and visit these revered places without much admiration in my heart. People get offended. I even question if there's something wrong with me. I've found at times I try to convince myself that the feeling IS as amazing as all the books say. But it doesn't last long, because honesty seems to bequeath honesty. Truth bequeaths truth.
I can hear how all this could sound like a bad thing. Like I'm putting a dampener on everything, and I shouldn't be so negative.
But I hope what it achieves is a real, deep admiration and awe for things in the present. A 4000 year old monument may well induce that, but I don't want to be afraid to acknowledge that a cheap night in a cheap hostel might inspire it in me as well.
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