farewells and fair girls

I'm sitting in Amman airport waiting for my plane and also my last meal of hommus and pita bread in the middle east. Looks like I made it.

We went to a Jordanian court the other day to try and convict the gypsy that sent us all into shock. I've never really given much thought or care to justice, but this visit was a bit of an eye opener to see what happens when convenience is more important than justice. Most everyone just wanted to forget it ever happened and no one seemed to care that this guy was dangerous and could hurt more people. They just wanted it to be over and they didn't really care how it came to be over. Don't mistake me for a saint fighting for justice. Although I agreed with our friends to report to the police and admired them for really fighting for justice, I couldn't quite find the energy for the cause myself. It was inconvenient. We had planned a road trip and were now unsure when, if at all, we'd get going. I don't know why my desire to send this guy to jail wasn't as incessant as my 2 friends, but my blood just wasn't reaching the boiling point for justice. I kind of wish I cared more, so I could feel like a better person, but I don't see any gain to try and pull something out from within that may not even be down there. My guess is that if it was down there (whatever it is) it would probably make it's way to the top itself without the need for much help.

Either way it sure makes you feel glad to live in a country where safety and justice is taken seriously and dealt with proficiently. And as it turns out Khaled was arrested and as far as I know at the moment is in jail, at least for a little while...

Putting that behind us, Del, Shaun, Meike, Sophia and myself finally hit the road heading north! It was such a nice time. Driving through dusty towns and voluptuous mountains. Stopping for shisha and sugar with tea. Eating falafel and hommus for breakfast lunch and dinner. We shared songs and stories, slept and laughed, got frustrated and excited. All the things on a normal road trip but with new friends and new lands to explore. Nice way, I do think, to finish a trip that I wasn't too sure I wanted to continue at more than a few stages.

This morning we had breakfast then said our goodbyes. It had only been about 4 days together but it felt like weeks. It's so nice to be sad to say goodbye to someone. Sadness is an odd feeling. I certainly wouldn't say it's on the top of my list of desirable feelings, and I couldn't say that I always let myself FEEL sadness, but I think it's good when I do. When I recognize sadness and there is someone who reciprocates my sadness for the same thing, it's comforting. I like it. I think i'd like to allow myself to be sad more often, because sadness is temporary. I find if I allow myself to be sad then what follows is this strange, happy, warm feeling. Like a nostalgia. Or like when a hot cup of your-choice-of-drink is in your hands and it doesn't warm you right away, but you know it will really soon. Just writing this now I realize that I am a little sad and perhaps I need to stop talking about it and actually grieve for myself that my travels are coming to an end, and for the bad decisions I made, and the good people I met, and the places I found, and all the little things in between that I'll remember and some, of course, forget. I hope then an excitement for home and the things that await me there will increase and I can move forward with a lightness in my heart.

Before I made my way to the airport my final stop was to a Turkish bath. This involved being scrubbed and soaped and dried and massaged by large arab men. It was pretty funny..

It was just pretty funny. That's all.

There's not much more to write other than I hope I meet a cute stewardess on my flight home so we can talk and drink tea in the staff section like I did with the cute girl on my way from Bangkok to Dubai. That would be a nice way to finish things. I like girls. They make me smile.